I was ready to move forward w/couples counseling immediately, but after this experience of you “speaking for me” which continues to be an ongoing issue in our marriage, & several other instances of repeated or ongoing lies/deception, I am choosing…
Lesson 6: My Sexual Health Commitments
1. I will give myself space & time to heal before I consider re-engaging in a sexual relationship with my husband, and I will not be pressured or guilted to “care take” or rush the deal.2. I will allow myself…
Lesson 5: My Betrayal Blindness
You remind me of when I recently taught all day & when I picked up my daughter after school—she said—“Mom, why do you have marker on your face?”. I have only 2 things to thank you for: Now I have…
Lesson 4: My Definition of Freely Enjoyed Sex…
Warmth, tenderness, playful, connecting deeply, relating physically & emotionally, being present, giving mutually, pleasuring & delighting together, feeling safe, knowing & being known, honoring & respecting. Sex would be free from addiction, objectivity, or hidden agendas.Sex would not be transactional…
Lesson 3: My Letter
I have carried the shame of your lies. I have questioned my own judgment and faulted myself for being blindsided, naive, and trusting. I give you back the shame I am not responsible for your lies. I have felt shame…
Lesson 2: My Constant State of Yo-Yo
I identify with attachment ambivalence and my yo yo behavior, and this was the beginning of a breakthrough for me. I hope it is for you too. I will refer you to Michelle Mays book, The Betrayal Bind, where she…