I have taken on the name “Sparrow” for anonymity. Early on I was having trouble connecting with support because many online betrayal trauma support groups asked for your name. I was not yet ready to come forward with my name, and I had never created a fake name. My counselor Elise Berryhill mentioned that she had a client who called herself “Sparrow”, so I have chosen that name to remember the impact of my Elise upon my life.
I have also chosen that name because one of my favorite songs, sung by the contemporary Christian band Selah, is a gospel hymn written in 1905 by lyricist Civilla D. Martin and composer Charles H. Gabriel. It is called “His Eye is on the Sparrow.”
The words of the song are inspired by the words of David in the Psalms and Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew in the Bible.
Psalms 32:8 (NIV) I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.
Matthew 6:26 (NIV) Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Matthew 10:29-31 (NIV) Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
In A Foot in Two Worlds’s: A Pastor’s Journey from Grief to Hope, Vincent D. Homan records that Civilla Martin noted the following regarding her inspiration for the song:
“Early in the spring of 1905, my husband and I were sojourning in Elmira, New York. We contracted a deep friendship for a couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle—true saints of God. Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden for nigh twenty years. Her husband was an incurable cripple who had to propel himself to and from his business in a wheelchair. Despite their afflictions, they lived happy Christian lives, bringing inspiration and comfort to all who knew them. One day while we were visiting with the Doolittles, my husband commented on their bright hopefulness and asked them for the secret of it. Mrs. Doolittle’s reply was simple: “His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.” The beauty of this simple expression of boundless faith gripped the hearts and fired the imagination of Dr. Martin and me. The hymn “His Eye Is on the Sparrow” was the outcome of that experience.”
The handmade linocut “Abide” by Shawn Collins (https://www.christlifeart.com/visualexhortation/abide) visually depicts the meaning of the name Sparrow to me. The birds in the artwork work are not sparrows, but nonetheless through this artwork I am powerfully reminded that “His eye is on the sparrow” as we brave connection after betrayal.
