For my first post, I would like to give credit where credit is due.
“Braving Connection.”
This first term “Braving” comes from Brene Brown.
According to Brene Brown’s, Dare to Lead The Braving Inventory, “the acronym BRAVING breaks down trust into seven elements: BOUNDARIES, RELIABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY, VAULT, INTEGRITY, NONJUDGMENT, AND GENEROSITY.”
“BOUNDARIES: Setting boundaries is making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why.
RELIABILITY: You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t overpromise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.
ACCOUNTABILITY: You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.
VAULT: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept, and that you’re not sharing with me any information about other people that should be confidential.
INTEGRITY: Choosing courage over comfort; choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy; and practicing your values, not just professing them.
NONJUDGMENT: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgment.
GENEROSITY: Extending the most generous interpretation to the intentions.”
The second term “Connection” is defined by Merriam Webster’s dictionary as
“the act of connecting…”
This idea of Braving Connection further comes from the innate core need that we all have for connection.
According to Matthew Lieberman in his first book, Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect, research consistently shows that the need to connect socially with others is as basic as our need for food, water and shelter.
Lieberman, a professor of psychology in the UCLA College of Letters and Science and a professor of psychiatry and biobehavioral science at UCLA’s Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior further states: “Being socially connected is our brain’s lifelong passion…It’s been baked into our operating system for tens of millions of years.”
After betrayal, our attachment bond to our primary attachment is ruptured, and we experience deep attachment injury, emotional and psychological injury, and sexual injury as referenced from Michelle Mays’ The Betrayal Bind.
These injuries immensely impact our connection with our partner, others, and ourselves.
As we heal these wounds, we Brave Connection with our partner, others, and ourselves.
Our healing is not contingent upon our partner. I echo the words of Michelle Mays, creator of Braving Hope Program for Betrayed Partners:
“I know if the worst would happen I will be sad, scared, etc. However, I am going to be okay because I have tools for safety.”
Our healing is Braving Connection through all of our relationships, including ourselves regardless of the outcome.
This Braving Connection creation is my avenue to further Brave Connection in my personal healing journey. I am the content creator and designer, & my husband helped me get this off the ground. Even through pushing this idea forward together —we are Braving Connection.
When you Brave Connection —there are bumps, there are bristles, there are thorns. Hence the term Braving—yet we do it together and never alone, through Connection.
When we are braving relationships we are Braving Connection.
When we are braving a relationship with our cheating or betraying partner—we are Braving Connection.
When we are braving relationships with others after betrayal—we are Braving Connection.
When we are braving healing within ourselves– connecting with our feelings and connecting to ourself in a different way—we are Braving Connection.
Building the relationship with our core self is the gold that comes from healing betrayal trauma.
As we Brave Connection after betrayal, may we come forth as gold!
But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. Job 23:10 (NIV)
