I identify with attachment ambivalence and my yo yo behavior, and this was the beginning of a breakthrough for me.
I will refer you to Michelle Mays book, The Betrayal Bind, where she coins the term “attachment ambivalence” and explains it in Chapter 4 “I Love You I Love You Not: The Dilemma of Attachment Ambivalence.” She has a way of capturing this experience with words and gives us new vocabulary to help us normalize our experience, identify it, and then move through it to healthier places—rather than getting stuck “circling the drain” and being in what I call caught in a constant state of yo-yo. This is exactly where I found myself.
One small step for me:
A baby step in handling attachment ambivalence when my husband tries to take a genuine emotional step closer is that I can become aware and can intentionally recognize it as genuine. I admit, that though these occurrences are rare and infrequent, I have not been effective at doing this.
I can choose if I am ready or not ready to receive it. I can express the things I am comfortable doing and those that I am not comfortable doing instead of dismissing, discounting, or ignoring these moments.
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Maya angelou
