The betrayal of my primary attachment–this wound cuts deep. It is not a cut that can heal on its own. Time heals all wounds is a fallacy in this case. This cut cannot be healed with glue or tape, nor can it be stitched. This cut requires surgery- open heart surgery.
According to Microsoft AI: “Open-heart surgery is a complex procedure that carries some risks. According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI), the risks of open-heart surgery include:
- Chest wound infection (more common in patients with obesity or diabetes, or those who’ve had a CABG before) 1
- Heart attack or stroke 1
- Irregular heartbeat 1
- Lung or kidney failure 1
- Chest pain and low fever 1
- Memory loss or “fuzziness” 1
- Blood clot 1
- Blood loss 1
It’s important to note that the risks of open-heart surgery vary depending on the individual’s health, age, and the type of surgery performed.”
Just like actual open-heart surgery, there are very real and tangible risks when noting the emotional impact of sexual betrayal trauma. I have felt as if my insides have been ripped out. I have felt what it is like to have a broken, bleeding heart. It has felt like a knife into my heart, more like the Japanese form of hara-kiri or seppuku.
“Hara-kiri” comes from the Japanese words “hara” (belly) and “kiri (to cut) and reflects inflicting a wound in the abdomen with a sharp object—a cut made across one’s belly that causes disembowelment.
From the 12th– 17th centuries this was a form of ritualistic suicide in Japan with the Japanese belief that an honorable death is more desirable than a life with shame.
In my case I have felt the emotional impact of sexual betrayal trauma like a metaphor of my husband performing hara-kiri to my heart and soul—cloaked as his code of honor.
There is no other visual image that does the impact of emotional sexual betrayal trauma justice than the image of hara-kiri performed on the heart and soul of the betrayed at the hands of the beloved betrayer.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalms 147:3 (CSB)
