It has been 17 months since D-day, and it has taken me 17 months to get clear on my boundaries and have the grit and strength to stick to all of it and be brave. I had done a lot of groundwork before arriving to Braving Hope, but I was lacking empowering community and the support and the clarity of Michelle May’s expertise of complex betrayal trauma and how that was showing up for me.
My primary question when I entered Braving Hope was: How can I thrive amidst choosing to stay in a marriage pounded with the destruction of sexual addiction and confuddled with inconsistent recovery work?
I now have the answer to my question and so many more gifts along the way. I am thankful for Michelle Mays, Tonia, Shelby, Melissa, and brave women. You truly are an inspiration to me, and I will be forever grateful for the lasting impact you have all had upon my life.
I have moved from the question of how to “thrive in my marriage” to “How will I flourish forward?
F- fierce fighter, feeling seen, friends, firm foundation, faith, focus on my work to heal
l- lean in boldly, light, learning, love, laughter, long journey, life-changing, living, loved, loveable, listening to my gut
O-operate NOT out of fear, powerlessness, and shame, open, overcoming
U-unflappability, use my powerful effective voice
R- rise up, realize, reality, real, raw, requests, reflection, resilient, resourceful, release, rediscovering, risk, rest, reassurance, redeem, regulating myself, responding vs. reacting, relationally connected to myself, to others, and God
I-intunement, intentional, integrated spiritually, intuition, intellect, inner wholeness, inspiration
S- soft-hearted and stay strong, skillset, shattered yet surrendered, space, slow down, security, safety, safe place, safe people, safety plan, support, seen, survivor, self-compassion, self-love, self-expression, self-care, shifts, strength, stay the course, stay grounded in my reality, “STAY IN AWARENESS”, “STAY WITH MY OWN EXPERIENCE AND STAY TRUE TO ME”
H- hold firm to my boundaries, hard work, healing, hope, help, heroine, “hero’s gifts,” “HOLD YOUR CLARITY,” “HOLD YOUR CERTAINTY”
(words in quotes spoken by Michelle Mays)
The waters continued to recede until the tenth month, and on the first day of the tenth month the tops of the mountains became visible. Genesis 8:5
