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Braving Connection After Betrayal

Bi-Weekly Reflection Questions Before Disclosure

October 1, 2023 · Before Disclosure

For 6 months after discovery I met with Elise Berryhill at Leslie Vernick Ministries 2x a month to help me navigate this new course. These were the questions that I reflected upon/answered at the onset of each session. I think these are the best questions. –Credit goes to Leslie Vernick Ministries

What do you feel you have accomplished since our last session? Was anything especially a win?

I started journaling and am continuing to meet with my support group.

Was there a thought or deliberate action that brought about a new direction?

Continuing to say: I didn’t cause it. I can’t control it. I can’t cure it. This belongs to him.

Where did you see your greatest challenge between sessions?

I am reading the book Deceived. I listened to it completely on audible, and I just purchased the hard copy. It is hard to hear some of the women’s stories but also helpful. I also started journaling. That was a hard first step.

Was there a change or action step you wanted to try, but didn’t accomplish? Are you able to recognize what got in the way?

I didn’t exercise the last 3 days. I like to be outside, and it has been icy and below freezing.

How would you want to focus your time with to get the most from the next coaching session?

I want to move through the 12 steps, or ones that are significant.

What one small step can you commit to doing before the next session?

praying. I am going to pray.

These questions were helpful to me because they forced me to consistently pause, reflect, and write in my early stages of discovery. When you are in the throes of grief and utter confusion—the last thing you want to do is pause and reflect—so these questions helped me to consistently process my betrayal trauma. In other words, it helped me to Selah. Selah is the Hebrew word mentioned seventy-one times in the book of Psalms and three times in Habakkuk. Many commentators believe that it means “to pause” and “to reflect.”

You are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance. Selah Psalm 32:7 (CSB)

Posted In: Before Disclosure

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